


On Freedom

by shortlikemarvin (FunTimesAtTheDisco)



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:34:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23665456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunTimesAtTheDisco/pseuds/shortlikemarvin
Summary: Just tell me this, haven’t you ever been in love with someone, be they man or woman, slave or free?“What’re you reading?” Whizzer finally asked, his voice just as casual as he looked, but his tone betrayed annoyance.Marvin couldn’t help but smirk a little, proud of that he made Whizzer annoyed and had managed to get the other man interested in what he read at the same time.“A book.”“Wow, thanks,” Whizzer’s voice dripped with sarcasm. He grabbed the book from Marvin’s hands. “Epictetus? What kind of a name is that?”
Relationships: Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	On Freedom

**Author's Note:**

  * For [christianborgle on instagram](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=christianborgle+on+instagram).



The first time Whizzer saw the book in Marvin’s possession, he came over for family dinner. Trina had cooked for them, excited to meet the friend Marvin seemed to spent so much of his time with.   
Whizzer was lounging on the couch. He seemed too casual for the situation he was in, but then again, Whizzer barely seemed to care much about anything. 

Marvin was reading with Whizzer’s legs draped over his lap. He knew Whizzer was watching him, scanning him for any proof that Marvin was going to give Whizzer the attention he craved, not caring that his wife was in the other room. Marvin wasn’t one to quickly give in, however, so he continued reading the words of someone he thought of as a genius. 

\- 'Just tell me this, haven’t you ever been in love with someone, be they man or woman, slave or free?'- 

“What’re you reading?” Whizzer finally asked, his voice just as casual as he looked, but his tone betrayed annoyance. 

Marvin couldn’t help but smirk a little, proud of that he made Whizzer annoyed and had managed to get the other man interested in what he read at the same time. 

“A book.” 

“Wow, thanks,” Whizzer’s voice dripped with sarcasm. He grabbed the book from Marvin’s hands. “Epictetus? What kind of a name is that?” 

Marvin kissed Whizzer’s arm and leaned on it with his chin. “He was a Greek Stoic philosopher. He died centuries ago, but everything he says is relevant to this day. I think he was a very wise man.” 

Whizzer pulled a face and threw the book down on the coffee table. “I’m sure I deserve more attention them some ancient Greek guy that thought writing down his beliefs was interesting to others.”

“He actually had a student who-” 

“I really don’t care,” Whizzer interrupted and pushed Marvin’s chin up with his arm and turned so he could start kissing his neck. Marvin decided that Whizzer did deserve more attention. 

——————

The second time Whizzer put attention to the book, was when Marvin had knocked on the man’s apartment door with a suitcase at his feet and a hesitant smile on his face. 

“I left her for you.” 

It was enough for Whizzer to step aside and let Marvin in. 

Marvin had brought a few clothes, his toothbrush and one book. As he was unpacking everything in a drawer Whizzer had cleared for him, Marvin opened the book and flipped to the pages he sought after more than any other. 

\- 'If your lovesick condition isn’t slavery, then what is? Didn’t you ever risk going out at night where you didn’t want to go, spend more money than you had intended, say things in the course of the evening in accents of misery and woe, put up with being mocked and finally locked out?'- 

Marvin smiled a little at the words. Strange how a centuries old paragraph fit his situation so perfectly. That was pretty much how he met Whizzer. 

“What are you grinning at?” Whizzer’s tired voice sounded like music in Marvin’s ears. It was raspy and thick and lower than usual. He loved it. 

“Nothing special,” he put the book down to turn to his lover. Whizzer made his way over to Marvin and took the book. 

“This one again? You’re really into him, aren’t you?” he said as he flipped through the pages, his expression bored. 

“Like I said, he was a wise man.” 

“If you read it so much then, why do you only seem to be getting dumber?” Whizzer put the book down and glanced at Marvin teasingly. 

Marvin scoffed. “Very funny,” he shot back. 

“I thought so,” the taller man hummed, satisfied with Marvin’s reaction. “Let’s go to bed.” 

——————

\- 'No one, you realize, fears Caesar himself, it is the death, exile, dispossession, jail and disenfranchisement that they are afraid of. Nor is Caesar loved, unless by chance he is personally deserving; we love money, a tribuneship, a military command or consulship. But when he love, hate or fear such things, then the people who administer them are bound to become our masters.'- 

The front door shut, the rustling of clothes followed soon after. Marvin was already in bed, reading to himself. He didn’t bother to greet Whizzer. The other man clearly felt the same way. 

The tension was there, but neither men was ready to face it yet. Marvin kept reading as Whizzer began heating up whatever leftovers he had found on the table. 

Marvin heard Whizzer setting the table for himself, heard him eat and stall however long he could manage, but eventually, exhaustion drew him to the bedroom. 

“Nice of you to join,” Marvin said, pretending to read. 

“If it was a nicety, you’d have to like it first.” 

Marvin didn’t respond. Whizzer went to the bathroom and returned shortly after in his boxers. Marvin saw the fresh marks on his lover’s body, but had long ago given up commenting on it. They both knew he saw. They both agreed it barely mattered anymore. 

“If you keep forcing me into a position where I have to get takeout, I won’t have money left to buy you pretty things.” 

Whizzer huffed. “I never ask you to. You just do it to prove to yourself or to me that you still care.” He got into bed and turned his back to Marvin. 

“I do care. It seems like you’re the one who doesn’t. Constantly going out, being late, not telling me where you are or who you’re with, forgetting dinner, I can go on.” 

“Good night, Marvin.” He turned the lights off. 

——————

-'Take someone in want of something under the control of people other than himself; is it possible for him to be unrestricted or unrestrained?  
‘No.’  
Consequently he cannot be free either. Now consider: is there nothing that is under our control, is everything under our control- or are there some things we control and others that we don’t?'- 

Marvin placed the empty suitcase at Whizzer’s feet and stepped away, placing his hands on his hips and meeting the other man’s eyes. 

Marvin did not know if he was bluffing or if he really was ending this, but it was the end of something that he was feared to let go of for months now. 

He was fairly sure Whizzer would come back to him eventually, so it wasn’t truly that he was letting go. No. This was break. To Marvin, it was a break. 

After the yelling and a shove, Marvin was left in an apartment too big for him and too exhausting to stay in. Maybe this really was over. The thought of it made Marvin feel horrible. It was over. And he was alone. 

——————

\- ‘The upshot is, now I’m not allowed to walk.’  
Whoever told you, ‘walking is your irrevocable privilege’? I said only that the will to walk could not be obstructed. Where use of the body and its cooperation are concerned, you’ve long been told that that isn’t your responsibility.   
Can you be forced by anyone to desire something against your will?   
‘No.’- 

Two years and Marvin still felt the same love and same desire for Whizzer. He loved him. He loved him so much. When he finally saw the man that had changed his world again, he could not resist. He needed Whizzer and he hoped more than anything that Whizzer felt the same way. 

When they had fallen to the same bed the same day of Jason’s baseball game, Marvin knew that Whizzer did feel the same. Two years changed very little if someone else still owned your heart. 

——————  
-'Whoever can be thwarted, however, or coerced, frustrated or forced into a situation against their will- that person is a slave. The person who renounces externals cannot be hindered, as externals are things that are not within our power either to have or not to have- or to have in the condition we might like.'- 

Marvin closed the book and put it on the nightstand. Whizzer was laying in his arms, and listened to Marvin’s voice as he read. When Marvin stopped, he frowned at him. 

Marvin looked back, suddenly realizing something. He had read this book- this part specifically- a million times. He could say it at the top of his head, knew which words came next, but he never truly figured out what exactly they meant. But now it had hit him. A smile grew on his face and love and excitement flooded in that same smile. 

“Marvin?” Whizzer asked, narrowing his eyes. He pulled away from Marvin and searched his face. “Why did that boring sentence make you look at me so creepily.” 

Marvin only smiled wider at that. 

“Whizzer, you agree that most laws are really dumb, right?” 

Whizzer stared at him and didn’t answer. 

“Just answer the question, dear.” 

Whizzer sighed and nodded then. “Sure.” 

“Okay. Laws are externals, right? It’s something we have no direct say over. It’s something we cannot control, something that is not in our freedom to change.” 

Whizzer rolled his eyes. “Marv, I love you, but I’m really too exhausted for your lectures.” 

Marvin gave him a look and crossed his arms. 

“Fine. They’re not in our power to change, etcetera. Go on.”

Marvin smiled again. “Right, so they are not ours. What is ours, really? Nothing. I can have my money and call in mine, but if someone steals it, it becomes theirs. I can have my house, but lose my job and it won’t be possible to keep it.” 

Whizzer nodded, frowning slightly. “Where are you going with this, babe? You’re not gonna quit, are you?” 

Marvin ignored Whizzer. “So what is ours then? There is only one thing that is truly and only ours. Something other people can never ever take away. They could kill us or threaten us, make us whatever they want us to be, but what they can never ever take control over is what we want- our desires- our will.”

Marvin stood up and Whizzer sat, giving Marvin a blank expression. 

“So even if the law makes it impossible, in our minds, if it is true to us, who can possibly tell us otherwise? No one. We can create our own truth with the wills and desires we have.” 

Marvin knelt down on one knee and looked at Whizzer with all the love he had felt for the man for years now. 

Whizzer’s jaw dropped, his eyes widened. “You’re being stupid, Marv-” 

Marvin cut him off. “Whizzer Brown, will you do me the honor of marrying me and become my husband?” 

Whizzer started smiling. He was beaming down at his lover and Marvin couldn’t help but think this was the best decision he ever made.

“Yes. God, yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know if the specific translation I used of Epictetus's work for this fic was out yet in 1979, but let's pretend for the sake of the fic that it was. 
> 
> I used the penguin classics book 'Epictetus, Discourses and Selected Writings', translated and edited by Robert Dobbin for this.


End file.
